Where did it go

Really? Sophomore year is gone?? man, where did it go?? What happened to all the time? I'm sooo not ready to be a junior. More than that, I'm not ready for my seniors to leave! I'm going to miss a lot of them, especially Pit Mama. It'll be weird without Drum Majorette A and Drum Majorette B too. And then, what about Storme Rayne? or even some of the seniors I didn't associate with nearly as much, such as Jade Glow or Blue Angel... even Corps Man! Next school year is going to be so different...

When words hurt

I'll admit it. I am one of those people who would rather write, type, or text something than have to say it. Even then, I don't like saying anything on my mind. Someone asked me the other day, why is it you'll tell me this, but then you won't tell me that? First off, I think situation. If you have any kind of opinion on the subject, I don't like having that bias there. I'd much rather talk to someone not involved than try to talk to that person. Less stressful I think. Second, I'm not the person to just go and let my inner thoughts run wild and free. Even the things I write down I keep or hide in places they won't be found unless I want them to be. For me to express myself to you, that means you (1) don't have an opinion or influence in the matter (2) I know you and I'm close to you, and (3) I trust you. If you are all of those things, you're usually the poor person I say something too. But if I can work it out or let it go without help, I'll do it myself. I'm not mean, and I'm not crazy (well, maybe, but that's a different story), I'm just....... Me.

Emotions

If you know me, I wonder if you realize how emotional I am. I mean, I've learned to hide it. After seeing death at the clinic, I learned, if I wanted to be a vet, I had to hide my emotions. That was better for the customers. So, when I lost my grandmother, I hid my emotions. They were strong, and it was hard, but I had to stay strong. I had to keep the brave face of the family.

I also make these unseen emotional connections a lot. While other people have friends, I make bonds. These bonds can change, often based on how I view the person after the first bond. And once these bonds are made, only I can see them.

Losing a bond. That hurts. Whether it's an argument, half the globe, or death that separates us, the pain is still powerful. Some people think I'm clingy. Well, maybe I am, but its because I'm scared. Scared of them drifting away from me. Loneliness is the strongest force against the bonds. I'm afraid to lose the few loyalties I have. There are only a few people who I can open up with this stuff about who don't have biases and I know I can trust them not to breathe a word to another soul. They know who they are, and the bonds I have with them are so predominant, that I'm surprised they can't see them.

And if I had to choose the greatest regret in my life, it would be this:
"A sad goodbye I never got to say,
A sad goodbye that haunts me to this day."
Anonymous

Siblings

Ok, so, if you didn't know, I have two siblings, a brother and a sister. You may know my sister. She's Mouse. My brother doesn't have a blog here as of now. Yes, I love them both. however, sometimes, they are some of the most annoying people I've ever met. I mean, right now they're playing with this annoying little helicopter thing. (Thank you From the Heart for that lovely, annoying Christmas gift you gave my brother. I blame you) Anyway, and earlier, they were playing this stupid game with a tennis ball and screaming throughout the house. But, even despite all of this, I still love them. Most days. ;-P

Friends

So, I was kinda in the mood today to talk about a few of my close friends. These are the few I would consider "best friends" if I had to pick.

1. We'll call her Cyndi for now, because she's such a big Cyndi Lauper fan. Anyway, she's probably my closest freshman pal. I have English and ASL with her. She's really quiet, but she's uber-smart and she's really nice if you get to know her. She and I tend to be inseparable during those classes. Just wish we could share the same lunch.
2. We'll call her Pit Mama, cause that's what this junior friend is. She's really been the one I've come closest to that's not Cyndi. Before you ask, yes, Pit Mama is overprotective, a little crazy (But, then again, all of us in pit are crazy), and I can almost swear she's bipolar (And I'm not the only one who'll tell you that. Lol) I need to thank Pit Mama not only for kinda getting me out of my shell, but also for helping me feel a little bit more in place at the high school.
3. We'll call her Guidon because that what she is in my JROTC flight. She's another freshman pal, and she's always willing to help me out when i need it.

So yeah, those are my closest friends. Without them, I'd go insane. Thanks to all of you!

Exam Time!

Wow, I just realized how long it's been since I've done this! i was looking up info about inbreeding for a school project in Ag, and saw an article on this site. It made me remember about this!

So, anyway, yeah, semester exams are coming up, and I'm freaking out! I haven't taken semester exams before, and I'm really worried. I mean, what if I do bad? What will; happen to my straight A's? I don't want people to be mad at me, which is making me even more worried. Eek! This is crazy! I don't see how people say they don't study for these. I seem to study alot, but I'm still freaking out! This is crazy! Down with semester exams!

Happy Holidays..... Already?

Ok, so, everyone knows that Thanksgiving has just passed. However, personally, I do not believe that it's already time for people to start put up Christmas lights and playing Christmas carols! No! Not until December! It's still November! I.e, too early to do Christmas stuff. Anyone else agree?

Too Much to Do

Ok, so this week I realized just how much stuff I'm in, just by looking at my schedule:

Obviously, school, but I also.....

Monday: Free, but throw softball with mom to start preparing for tryouts.
Tuesday: Be at school @ 5:50 am to leave for range to shoot guns all day with FFA. Get back to school in time for 8th period. Then stay until 5 pm for debate practice.
Wednesday: Have an AFJROTC thing for veterans day (therefore, early release from school doesn't apply to me)
Thursday: Free for the moment: expect to have band regional music practice.
Friday: Leave school in 5th period with band to go to football playoff game several hours away.
Saturday: Debate tournament
Sunday: WATCH FOOTBALL! And probably do homework.

So, yeah, I'm busy! But, we'll see how things go.

Wish me luck!

Country Music

So, for those of you who know me (and even some who don't) know I was about ready to die of impatience waiting on Carrie Underwood's CD to be released. But, today, it was! Play On is Underwood's third album, and, from my perspective, possibly her best. Now, I know you might say, "Well this newspaper only rated it 1 and 1/2 stars.... (One actually did)", but this album does nothing but show her diversity. Six stars out of five from me! :)

But, I have to semi-agree with George Jones, who has recently been noted saying that country music isn't today what is was before, with artists such as Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift coming along and adding a new twist (particularly pop) to the music. Now, yes, I agree, country music definitely has changed. But, then again, so have the times. Most people simply aren't interested in the "old" style of country music. To keep their fans listening, artists are having to add more of a diversity to their music.

Sorry it's been so long, been ultra-busy. Just remember to do these things this week......
Buy Play On
Listen to Play On
Keep reading this blog
Have fun and stay safe!

Thursday=Ultra-busy!

Ok, so, this Thursday is homecoming, as well as JROTC night. I'm pumped, considering it's also going to be televised! One of our drum majors in band ran for Homecoming King, so it would be good for the band if he wins.
This is also spirit week, meaning we get to dress up like this:

Monday- Wacky Day (Dress all wacky)
Tuesday- Jersey Day (Wear the jersey of your favorite team/player)
Wednesday- Decade Day (Dress up for the decade your class was given. I'm '50's.)
Thurday- Spirit Day (Be in school colors and be ready for the game!)
Friday- Panthers Rule (Dress up like kings, queens, and royalty)

Fun! And I get to wear my temporary JROTC uniform instead of my band uniform at the game (1st year cadets have yet to earn our uniforms), but I doubt we can wear mums. Oh well. Let's get ready for some FOOTBALL!!!!

Now.......
Fight panthers!

Fight panthers!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Choir

Ok, so my sister is the the choir, and they had a "concert" today. She's actually pretty good! Much better than me anyway. I sing solo. So low no one can hear me. Lol. Sorry, inside joke. She made me rally proud today. Who ever knew singing could be sooooo complicated! Jeez! But, like I said, she's really, really good.

Bad Day

So, I had another bad day today. Seem to have a few of those.
The day starts off rainy and drizzly, like my mood. In third period, Stupid Golf Guys gives us a "Daily Assessment" that I somehow manage to make the highest grade in the class. Sad considering I made a 70. In band, we get to watch our video performance from last Saturday, and my foot falls asleep. So, here I am, wrist still hurting, and walking really funny because I have no feeling from my calf down. Then, they decide to run the show with like 10 minutes in class left. I.E, after I get set up, I play for only a few minutes before it's time to go.Day is kinda neutral from here until my orthodontist appointment, where she tortures me for 1.5 hours. That's a long time! Then, I have to go home and work on this "string project" for geometry. I'm surprised I didn't kill anyone as frustrated as I got. I have little patience for stupid little string.

Well, I guess one good thing did come from today. Not next Monday, but the Monday after, I officially get my braces off.

Elvis

Ok, Elvis is my huge, 200 pound brindled English Mastiff who thinks he's a lap dog somedays, and a horse other days. I mean, one day he wants to sit in my lap as we watch tv, and other days, he tackles me like I'm his toy! But I love him anyway. Elvish Schmelvis from the Pelvis! lol!

Ouch!

Ok, so, a few days ago, I injured my wrist when some PVC pipe fell on me. I really didn't take much notice, despite the small bruise. Now, several days later, my wrist is still bothering me. I'm hoping nothing's seriously wrong, because I play the synthesizer (electric piano) in band, and I'm the only one with that part. With district coming up next weekend, I HAVE to play! And I doubt I can play very well in a cast. I can hardly play with this little wrap I have on it! But, then again, even this simple typing is bothering me. Stupid pipes. So, I have it wrapped, and am hoping that'll help it heal.

9/11/01

So, for whatever reason, I had 9/11 on my mind today. I found myself asking these questions:

1. Why did it happen?

2. Who was really the one behind it all?

3. Was there a specific target, or did they just want to target America?

4. Has it really brought our country together?

5. Why are humans so cruel and unkind, even to their own species?

6. What drives people to do some of the things they do?

Some of these questions I could answer, some I couldn't. But I did accomplish one good thing- A poem.

9/11/01

I watch in horror, my mind in a daze,
The climbing smoke, all in a haze.
Sirens are blaring, people are crying,
All because the Twin Towers are falling.
A plane per building,
All for the act of killing.
Many people watch in sadness.
As loved ones disappear in the darkness.
Young, defenseless children look around,
Wondering why people are crying on the ground.
Terrorism has maken it's mark,
But, in America, it's lightened a spark.
They have awoken a sleeping beast,
And are in for an awakening to say the least.
Tens, hundreds, thousands lay dead,
But they were heros, all the way to death's bed.
Now, we're fighting to give them their dues,
And break to terrorists the bad news.
America is coming, so be prepared,
For no terrorrists will be spared.

Football's Going to the Girls

Ok, so, great things are happening in the world of football. First, in response to National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, all of the players are agreeing to wear pink on their uniform. Some had pink on their gloves, some have pink on their baseball caps they wear on the sidelines, some wear the Breast Cancer ribbon on their uniform/helmets, some have pink arm/wristbands, etc. Some are even wearing pink cleats.

Second, on a more debatable note, did anyone happen to watch the Baltimore Raven/New England Patriots game? If so, you've probably seen the controversial roughing the quarterback calls on Tom Brady. I mean, looking at the more.... heated call, ot's ridiculous! For crying out loud, it's TACKLE FOOTBALL! If you can't hit the guy, why play? I mean, I can understand hitting him in the helmet with yours, or hitting a QB after the play is dead, but barely brushing him a second after he throws the ball?!? Good grief!

Barbaro

Ok, so, I'm a Barbaro freak. Today, something has ha him on my mind, so I felt like talking about him.

If you don't know who he is/was, Barbaro was a bay Thoroughbred stallion foaled April 29th, 2003. His sire was Dynaformer, and his dam was La Ville Rouge. Anyway, going into the 2006 Kentucky Derby, Barbaro was undefeated at 5 for 5. He would go on to beat the twenty horse field by six or seven lengths, making him a sure-shot not only for the Preakness Stakes two months later, but also possibly the Triple Crown

But, thinks went horribly wrong. He broke early from the starting gate at the Preakness, so they had to load him again. Then, shortly after the race began, Barbaro had to be pulled up. His right hind leg was shattered. This was the only race he lost.

For eight months he battled his injury, as well as laminitis, a deadly hoof disease that practically eats away their hoof from the inside out, and causes a bone on the inside of their hoof to rotate painfully. He underwent severl surgeries (I think six in all), but refused to give up. However, on January 29th, 2007, at approximately 10:30 AM, Barbaro's owners decided that, even though the original injury was healing, living was becoming too hard for him because he had developed laminitis in all three of his other hooves. This left him with "no good legs to stand on". So, he was euthanized.

Here are some poems I wrote about him. Some are pretty old, but they're still pretty good I think.

An Angel's Horse:

There was a horse
Not so long ago
Who came from above
To race down below
In his heart he knew
His fate that wait
But he knew,
He just knew,
What he had to do.
He was born on Earth
One cool April morning
With a bay coat,
A white star and snip,
And a bright white sock.
As he grew in the meadow
His passion for running
Continued to grow,
And he whipped past the others
And even the mothers.
He soon started training,
Pacing and breezing,
And shocked his trainer
With his strength and his speed.


Then he began racing
And all of his work
Began to show through,
As he left the rest
To place and to show.
Then his time came
To see how he’d done
As he entered and raced
In the Run for the Roses
He didn’t run,
He didn’t leap,
Instead he won
With wings on his feet
In his next race,
He didn’t finish.
His only defeat
In this race.
A race,
Some same,
That was never run.
Among the gasps
And the cries and the pleas,
America’s horse, Barbaro
Stood only on three


For eight long months
He battled and fought
In the race of his life.
One cool January morning
He could fight no more.
The nation’s eyes
Were flooded with tears,
As they heard the news
That their hero was dead.
America’s horse is
No longer on Earth,
But we will fight
To keep his spirit alive.
He no longer has hooves,
Instead, he has wings.
He races on still,
And the others
Will still never gain.
He’s an angel horse,
So loved and so cherished,
Who continues to win,
But no longer has pain.

A Champion:
The day is a Saturday,
The first one in May.
Twenty horses ready to go,
Twenty horses eyeing their foe.
Suddenly, the horses break free,
From the gate, they flee.
All have their eye on the pride,
The roses draping on their sides.
A single bay takes the lead,
All others passed by this gallant steed.
First under the finish line,
Was that a sign?
Barbaro walks by,
His beautiful head high.
Nineteen others fell behind.
Nineteen others have defeat on their mind.
Alas! Barbaro held strong,
For his lead was long.
They drape the roses over his tack,
Sliding them over his sleek back.
A champion, proving his believers right,
Showing them his heart full of fight.
Two weeks later, Barbaro is back,
To fly around Pimlico's track.
As they load the horses into the gate,
One decides his own fate.
He breaks alone,
Causing the fans to moan.
As Barbaro is loaded for another try,
Time seems to slowly drag by.
Then, the horses are running among each other,
Barbaro and another staying together.
Suddenly, a snap can be heard,
And, to their Lord, many give a pleaing word.
Barbaro, a champion was he,
Stood painfully on three.
Many cried, many whimpered,
As Barbaro stood gravely injured.
His owners quickly and boldly said no,
When asked to put an end to the life of their hero.
For eight months Dr. Dean and his staff tried,
And many stood by their side.
Men, women and children alike,
Often to rode to the clinic, some on a bike.
Why? To encourage their champion on,
For they couldn't bear to see him gone.
But, one sad January day,
Barbaro ate the last of his hay.
His suffering was no more,
As many were crying behind a closed door.
He is no longer living down here,But, in heaven, he's found another gear.
He's now leaving Slew and 'Biscuit in his dust,
As he races on a single wind gust.
If you study the clouds above Maryland's own dearly-beloved Pimlico,
You'll see Barbaro winning on Heaven's track, making the others look slow.
Though his body and form are no longer here,
His spirit and soul will always be near.

Learning How to Fly:

Heaven's horses prance merrily across the ground,
Then, suddenly, there is an echoing sound.
They all stop and stand side by side,
For another horse on Earth has died.
As they wait to see who's gotten their wings,
Many bells begin to ring.
A brilliant bay soon rises to the sky,
As many below begin to cry.
The horse knew his fate from the start,
But, racing was still in his heart.
Now, his work is done,
And he can begin to have some fun.
Broken legs no longer hold back
The horse who's name came from a lithograph.
Though he now watches in sadness the tears down below,
He knew deep down it was time to go.
As his owners said their sad good-byes,
Barbaro had gotten ready to learn how to fly.
Finally, at last, he's given his wings,
He flies around while the angels sing.

Crappy Day...... Must've Been Stuck in the Muck

Ok, so, today during band sectionals, we polished cymbals. You would KNOW I would get the cymbal that's impossible to shine. I mean, it literally is. No one has been able to fully polish that cymbal ever.

Then, we get home, and I go to ride my horse. So, I open the trailer, and my saddle's covered in fuzz. Great.

I think that's kinda my fault, because with band, school, excessive heat, rain, etc, I haven't been able to ride since like July. And sometime last week (when it rained) someone apparently didn't shut the trailer tight, so I'm sure that let moisture in. Anyway, I had to go bareback for my ride (now my legs and butt hurt). I finished my ride, then cleaned my saddle.

Today was just a crappy day.

Anyone else want to become stuck in the muck?

Who said it's always the female dog who's a b-word?

I mean, seriously? So, one of our dogs, Rocco, is obsessed right now because we have a dog in heat. I mean, you try to pet the female dog (Natasha), he goes after you. If you're sitting on the couch, and he jumps up next to you, prepare to be bitten. He bit me for trying to cage him this morning. He bit Mom while she tried to put him in his box another time. I mean, that dog has some balls to bite her. So, as you can see, it isn't always the girl who's the b-word.

Honor Code

"I shall not lie, cheat, nor steal, nor tolerate those who do."
Who knew 12 words could mean so much? I mean, those are some pretty powerful words. So, what do you do when those words are put to the test?

A week or so ago, I was put into a tough position. Which was more important? Making friends, or keeping myself true to the Honor Code?

I decided to hold true to the Honor Code.

So, these kids decided to cheat on a test the second the teacher walked out of the room. After class, I told the teacher, but the teacher said, because he didn't see it, he couldn't do anything about it. But, he did compliment me on stepping up and saying something.

I can see where that makes sense, but then no one gets punished for doing anything wrong. What student is going to cheat when the teacher is watching them?