Emotions

If you know me, I wonder if you realize how emotional I am. I mean, I've learned to hide it. After seeing death at the clinic, I learned, if I wanted to be a vet, I had to hide my emotions. That was better for the customers. So, when I lost my grandmother, I hid my emotions. They were strong, and it was hard, but I had to stay strong. I had to keep the brave face of the family.

I also make these unseen emotional connections a lot. While other people have friends, I make bonds. These bonds can change, often based on how I view the person after the first bond. And once these bonds are made, only I can see them.

Losing a bond. That hurts. Whether it's an argument, half the globe, or death that separates us, the pain is still powerful. Some people think I'm clingy. Well, maybe I am, but its because I'm scared. Scared of them drifting away from me. Loneliness is the strongest force against the bonds. I'm afraid to lose the few loyalties I have. There are only a few people who I can open up with this stuff about who don't have biases and I know I can trust them not to breathe a word to another soul. They know who they are, and the bonds I have with them are so predominant, that I'm surprised they can't see them.

And if I had to choose the greatest regret in my life, it would be this:
"A sad goodbye I never got to say,
A sad goodbye that haunts me to this day."
Anonymous